I'm Fat, Not Huge
I have come to the realisation that I am fat but not huge. For a long time I was frustrated and upset with how I looked, beating myself up about it and feeling embarrassed and inferior in social situations. Coming from a background of being extremely slim and fit, this was a difficult transition to deal with. And indeed it was at art school where I put on this weight, thus making it doubly upsetting. Getting my degree cost me my appearance.
However, this project is about perspective and my self image. I have had a lot of time to think about my life and my work. I have changed my work to be more optimistic and light hearted. I am not taking myself so seriously any more which can only be a good thing. I don't care about these things now.
Previously I would photograph myself in a darkened corridor or building covered in darkness to represent my mood at the time. These are representative of the dark place I was in during my years at Chelsea. However I am not in that space any more so have no further use for this style of imagery. I feel I have made my peace with the past and am moving on to funnier, more colourful work. Colour at last!
The blue clothing is mimicking the little blue scale man against the huge dinosaur in children's books. So from this angle, perhaps children could enjoy this work.
The piece is also regarding a feeling of insignificance I am only THIS big compared to this massive thing next to me. Although on the outside this work has a tongue and cheek tone to it, there is also a layer of negativity which most adults can equate with. Uncertainties and insecurities surrounding ones self image. Everyone can relate to that.
I set some rules for this work: If the image is horizontal I stand next to it, vertical, in front of it and if flat, I lie down next to it. The blue clothing took almost two weeks to mix and match to get the right combination of colours. The blue had to be roughly the same from head to toe.
The process of making the images requires a performative element, standing like a statue and more often than not have to hold the pose while people pass me by wondering, what on earth is he doing? I don't care how I look now and what people think of me.
This body of work took me three and a half months, I plan to continue this idea as far as it can go.
Research links include Cindy Sherman, Anthony Gormley and Gilbert n George
(Posting this new concept on my blog to prove my authorship over it)